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When THEY think you are their firend...
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Author:  Wet Doggg [ Mon May 10, 2010 11:27 am ]
Post subject:  When THEY think you are their firend...
Guys...looking for a little advice here. I moved to Michigan back in January of 2005. Did not know anyone here and due to the dead of winter it was hard to meet the neighborhood. I met this guy that lived around the corner from me out at Lowes one day and found out he had a boat. I thought...GREAT. At this time we had our cruiser and and in a slip. He knew where we were at and started to show up with his wife and kid there. Not a big deal until it became Saturday and Sunday of every weekend. I mean it got ridiculous. If we took the boat out and anchored, they followed and tied up. Not even being asked. Sometimes he would spend 30 - 40 minutes idling at the entrance of the marina waiting for us to leave. This happened on and off for two summers. Summer of 2008 we bought our bowrider. At least 50% of the time they would end up at the same lake/body of water we were at. We only go a few places so I am sure he saw us leave the subdivision and take a guess as to where we were headed. On top of everything else...lets just say his kid is not very well behaved at all. My kids are not saints, but we have rules and expectations. The moment we raft up he is in our boat messing with everything. Dock lines, PFDs, stereo, cooler, etc...you name it...it get fondled.

Last summer when we did not use our boat. So he would stop by our house 3 - 4 times a week. That is a little easier. Make an excuse and head inside. I had the boat home for 20 minutes last weekend...and guess who climbs up the ladder as I am checking it from being in storage for the past two years. I just can't handle this again. I have looked so forward to boating and the thought of this guy and his family following us around just makes me cringe. Plus...I now will have three kids on the boat...young kids and will have no time to entertain him. My wife wants me to be nice...but how do you nicely tell someone to buzz off? Much appreciated. I can get along with anyone...but this has gone on long enough.
Author:  Cap'n Morgan [ Mon May 10, 2010 12:18 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: When THEY think you are their firend...
Maybe rack a shell in your Benelli when he pulls alongside your boat. :wink:
Author:  Wet Doggg [ Mon May 10, 2010 12:23 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: When THEY think you are their firend...
Capn...not a bad idea but that is one of my hobbies (hunting) that I have manage to keep from him...do not want him to show up there as well. You have met him quite a few times and can vouch for me that he follows me around like a puppy. I always apologize to Capn's crew and other friends when we show up together :roll:
Author:  RotaryRacer [ Mon May 10, 2010 12:33 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: When THEY think you are their firend...
Where abouts are you, again? Maybe he needs a "friend" to do the same thing to him.

You don't think he followed you here do you?
Author:  Wet Doggg [ Mon May 10, 2010 12:38 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: When THEY think you are their firend...
In Rockford. I think he would enjoy it actually if someone would do it to him. You interested :lol:??? We never talk about computers...and he does not have a Four Winns...so I am sure he would have no reason to come or find this place.

All we ever discuss are all of the improvements he makes to his house and boat and how great he does at his job.
Author:  Cincy Aquaholic [ Mon May 10, 2010 12:51 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: When THEY think you are their firend...
I don't mind the occassional raft up (i'm talking hours, not nights) with folks that I don't really know and sometimes our floatilla gets pretty big but that would bug me to no end. In fact, my weekends are too short and too precious to let it bug me for long. There's usually only 3 or 4 of us that raft up on a regular basis and we are all very good friends on and off the lake. I've run into people i don't know all that well occassionally like sundaydinner and firecadet from this board and some others and they'll tie up for a little bit here or there. But to have someone hound you every outing?!?!? I'd put a stop to that one way or another. maybe have my dog piss in their cabin?? Actually, we had a bad experience with a dude that wanted to tie up to us all last summer. Basically, got kicked out of another group. Had a very problematic kid. He decided to try to tie up to us again after we waived him off several times before. This time, he didn't wait and proceeded to hit my boat and put a gouge in it which he subsequently paid to fix. But still!!! Argh! This is why we like to keep our group small and with people we know for our regular outings and overnights. I've seen some weird stuff happen.

Truthfully, sometimes we don't want to be around anyone. I do like my alone time with the admiral. :mrgreen:
Author:  Obie [ Mon May 10, 2010 1:18 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: When THEY think you are their firend...
May I suggest the same technique I used to stop a group of religious sales people from ringing my door bell every Sunday morning at 8:00 AM and wanting to preach to me? Nudity. Head to a isolated location on the lake and you and your wife remove your clothes. Talk about how nice the sun feels on your body. Look at each other and recline the seats or put blankets down on the floor. The intruder and his family will likely flee. Of course it may get worse he may try join in.

It may be a gamble because this other family has taken your life hostage. No amount of nice talk will stop him. You need to take control of his visits by telling him you do not like being stalked and followed. Tell him boating is an area of your life where you spend special time with your family. Have a lawyer write him a letter that mentions a restraining order. The cord needs to be cut.
Author:  lake_norman_vic [ Mon May 10, 2010 1:35 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: When THEY think you are their firend...
@ Seahorse........ Funniest thing I've heard yet today! I love it! I'll have to try that on the bible thumpers that knock on my door on Sundays! hahaha

This is a tricky situation and I had something similar happen to me with my neighbor.

I blamed it on my wife: "She's not in a good mood." "She wants to be alone today." "She .... "

Eventually we lost "a friend" and they never bothered us again.
Author:  Flying Sushi [ Mon May 10, 2010 2:00 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: When THEY think you are their firend...
One thing works well...
Inform them that you are having "Marital issue" that family need a little time alone……. Assuming he is not a marriage counselor… roll:
Good Luck!
Author:  tennja [ Mon May 10, 2010 2:23 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: When THEY think you are their firend...
Cincy Aquaholic wrote:
I don't mind the occassional raft up (i'm talking hours, not nights) with folks that I don't really know and sometimes our floatilla gets pretty big but that would bug me to no end. In fact, my weekends are too short and too precious to let it bug me for long. There's usually only 3 or 4 of us that raft up on a regular basis and we are all very good friends on and off the lake. I've run into people i don't know all that well occassionally like sundaydinner and firecadet from this board and some others and they'll tie up for a little bit here or there. But to have someone hound you every outing?!?!? I'd put a stop to that one way or another. maybe have my dog piss in their cabin?? Actually, we had a bad experience with a dude that wanted to tie up to us all last summer. Basically, got kicked out of another group. Had a very problematic kid. He decided to try to tie up to us again after we waived him off several times before. This time, he didn't wait and proceeded to hit my boat and put a gouge in it which he subsequently paid to fix. But still!!! Argh! This is why we like to keep our group small and with people we know for our regular outings and overnights. I've seen some weird stuff happen.

Truthfully, sometimes we don't want to be around anyone. I do like my alone time with the admiral. :mrgreen:



So is that why you haul up your anchor and gun it when when I am around? :twisted: You can run but you can't hide :mrgreen:
Author:  beyond the blue [ Mon May 10, 2010 2:25 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: When THEY think you are their firend...
Wet Doggg wrote:
My wife wants me to be nice...but how do you nicely tell someone to buzz off?


You Americans are far to polite at times. This situation as gone on too long to be nice, just pluck up the courage and tell the guy to **** off and leave you alone. You will feel bad for a day or two but at least you will be free of him.

Now if he is a BIG chap..... forget the above!!
Author:  millhaven_nice_guy [ Mon May 10, 2010 2:31 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: When THEY think you are their firend...
Hit him where it hurts..... THE KID. Discipline his kid by politely asking him to stay on his own boat and list the reasons why... The parent's may get apalled that you banned their "angel" and look for another source of socialization.

Does your wife get along with his wife? I find this quite often that if my wife likes the other's wife then I don't really have much in common with the husband and vice versa. There are very few couples that we enjoy both parties. Those (obviously) are our closest friends... the rest are fillers and usually are there because of kid socialization.

I am opposite to you, I enjoy boating for the social aspect and that means meeting strangers. My five year old is well socialized and I can take her anywhere and she finds an outlet to amuse herself. I keep my eyes on her too though and I am not offended if somebody tells her "no". My wife is kind of anti-social (with strangers) so I am forcing my 5 yr old into these situations so that she doesn't become like her mom.... So far my mission is being accomplished. :|
Author:  jsimon [ Mon May 10, 2010 2:41 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: When THEY think you are their firend...
My wife always tells me I don't do anything I don't want to do. This would definatly be one of those things, all I had to do is read this...

Wet Doggg wrote:
I just can't handle this again. I have looked so forward to boating and the thought of this guy and his family following us around just makes me cringe.


just keep those two sentences in the front of your mind when you tell him eye to eye, that you don't want to hang with them this year. It will only be uncomfortable for a minute or two, then you will be free of it for the whole summer.

Good Luck with it...
Author:  christiantrevor [ Mon May 10, 2010 4:00 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: When THEY think you are their firend...
Man Up, be honest.... treat it like a break up. I't may be tough initially but eventually things will settle. Unless she boils your rabbit, then you have problems.
Author:  Cap'n Morgan [ Mon May 10, 2010 4:06 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: When THEY think you are their firend...
We had a similar experience with a boater we met through someone at our marina. This guy thought if you give him the time of day, you are his friend for life. He would call us on the VHF and ask where we were going for the day, the first few times we tolerated it. Then it became a regular thing. he would ride around in front of our marina, waiting for us to go out.
We even went the opposite direction to where we had planned to go, and he would follow along like a puppy. What we ended up dong was telling him we would be at a certain place, leave our marina later than him, and go someplace totally different. After several times of us being a "no show" he got the hint. It is tough for someone that has no real friends like him, to realize that if you are not personally invited, you are not welcome. If he doesn't get the hint after you "ditch" him several times. Tell him face to face that he just does not fit in with your family and with the group you like to be with. Good Luck.
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