I'm not sure what happened, I'm thinking the shift interlock is a bit corroded up... I read a bit more on the owners manual about throttle operation and figured out the interlock release button that disengages the shifter mechanism and allows you to give it gas while still in neutral... (yeah it's my first boat) - after that it started beeping when you turn the key on, and it fired up! Took it out to the lake and put it in the water only to find that the interlock broke the second I was floating away from the trailer and couldn't get it out of neutral! lucky I still had my test light in the boat and used that to pry the interlock out of the slot behind the handle so I could shift! what a gong show...
anyway, we took it out for a 30 minute cruise (we were the only ones on the lake), and it seems to run well. hopefully get some more seat time in the next couple weekends!
Thanks for the response anyway, I'm sure I'll be back with more questions over the summer
PS. I answered my own question about connecting the fp relay to the other terminals on the alternator... turns out the starter relay is also connected to the fp wire, so when I connected it to the EXC terminal, when I turn the key to the 'on' position the starter started cranking! This is not a good thing to do!